


and if you stay

by mutedstar (orphan_account)



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Diners, Gothic, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, short and sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-14
Updated: 2019-12-14
Packaged: 2021-02-26 03:13:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21786547
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/mutedstar
Summary: Frank is glowing, and Gerard can't stop staring.He doesn't even know Gerard's looking at him, and that's what makes it even more sacred, a pure moment that makes Gerard feel like an outsider.He tries to ignore the howl in his chest. The fire in his lungs. The flowers growing in his stomach, unfurling, threatening to crawl up his throat and spill out of his mouth, taking his dignity with them.
Relationships: Frank Iero/Gerard Way
Comments: 14
Kudos: 121





	and if you stay

**Author's Note:**

> literally just a three minute drabble i wrote a few weeks ago to apologize for not finishing the tie fic i promise i will by next weekend ok! <33 not expecting this to do that well but lmk how u feel about it anyways

Gerard doesn't have the heart to tell Frank it's way too late at night for the amount of syrup he's pouring on his waffles— chocolate chip waffles, actually.

Not with the way Frank is smiling, lighting up his whole face, like there's nothing that makes him happier. Like there's no place he'd rather be than at a shitty diner with Gerard at almost midnight, the last people left. 

It makes Frank glow, and Gerard can't stop staring. He's the lights of the city, bright and blurred, stars bursting in Gerard's eyes. 

He doesn't even know Gerard's looking at him, and that's what makes it even more sacred, a pure moment that makes Gerard feel like an outsider. Like he's not worthy of being privy to this, Frank's wholehearted joy at the simplest things in the world. 

It's almost too much for Gerard. He shifts a little, turning to gaze out the half-fogged window, eyes to the stars that shine so much brighter in the midwest than in Jersey. They whisper to him, tugging at his soul, pulling at the threads in his heart. This is it, they say, silver light burning muted. This is it. 

He tries to ignore the howl in his chest. The fire in his lungs. The flowers growing in his stomach, unfurling, threatening to crawl up his throat and spill out of his mouth, taking his dignity with them. 

Gerard's not sure he wants to be in love. 

When he'd started the band, he'd known what he wanted, no matter how far they made it. A group he could trust with his life, people who would hold each other up. A band of brothers. 

Looking at Frank doesn't feel like brotherhood. It feels like a whole lot more, and it's terrifying. 

But when he finally looks back across the table, at Frank's gleeful smile while he empties four sugar packets at once into already-sweetened coffee, meets his eyes shining maniacally, Gerard can't help but smile back. 

Fuck. 

Frank must see something, though, must know something is (not wrong, nothing is wrong, Gerard is fine, he's fine, everything's fine) up the way he always does, his intuition sometimes hidden but always there. His smile fades a little, and Gerard's soul cracks. He never wants to be the cause of that. That's not love, he reasons with himself. He just cares. 

"You good?" Frank asks, tilts his head a little, unwraps his hands from around his coffee mug and reaches for Gerard's on the table. 

Gerard pretends not to see that, and he pretends not to see the flash of confusion on Frank's face either. Gerard can't even meet his eyes, because he knows if he does, he won't be able to hold anything back.

"I'm good," Gerard says, and it sounds hollow and fake even to himself. 

He finally looks up, makes himself look at Frank's face, earnest and open and—

I love you, Gerard's brain says. I love you I love you I love you. 

This kind of falling is not what Gerard's used to. It's a different kind of rush, not like drugs or booze or a public bathroom hookup. This kind of falling— it's sitting on the precipice of a waterfall, the rush of water around him, falling over the edge, and not being sure he wants to take the jump, not sure he'll survive the drop into the pool below. 

He wants Frank, and he knows he does. It's just a matter of accepting it, and he's not sure he's ready. He's not sure he's ready, and he's not sure whether to feel guilt or relief. 

"Gee," Frank says, and Gerard's startled out of his reverie, realizes he's been staring the whole time. "Gerard." The conviction in his voice, the wholeheartedness he fits into just a name— Frank is a miracle worker and doesn't even know. He doesn't even know, and all of a sudden Gerard needs him to know. He needs to know how he makes Gerard feel, needs to understand the embers in Gerard's soul that pop when he so much as speaks. 

Gerard resolutely takes his hand, twines their fingers together softly, feels Frank's calluses against the pads of his own fingers. 

Sitting across from Frank in a shitty midwestern diner on a December night, Gerard accepts it. Frank lights up the soul he wants so desperately not to have, the soul he's taken and poured into his music and his art for the sake of creation. Frank is there, building it back up, and he doesn't even know.

Gerard is so in love with everything about him it's insane. 

The precipice pulls him ever closer. 

"I'm in love with you," Gerard says, and the wind outside howls and scrapes the clouds against the dome of the black-ink sky and the stars are shining, shining like nothing Gerard's ever seen before and his vision is blurred and he's so, so scared. 

"Yeah?" Frank says, uncharacteristically soft, reproachful and tender. His hand is still warm in Gerard's grasp. 

"Yeah," Gerard rasps, voice a whisp. 

"Good," Frank says, cracking a sideways smile. "That makes two of us." 

The look in his eye fans the sparks in Gerard's heart until they're roaring, rolling, ardent. 

Gerard knows Frank will fall with him. They'll fall together.

**Author's Note:**

> i love reading all ur comments so much literally any feedback makes me feel so good thank u guys for interacting w me so much <333


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